Ex-Pat Life in Italy Ends for This Study Abroad Student

I came to this country, Italy, as a study abroad student. As an ex-pat living abroad, I knew that I would need to make friends fast. So, even before I landed, I joined like-minded groups on meetup and considered joining the gym or volunteering to make friends. Cultural assimilation anywhere can be fast or slow. It just comes down to your attitude towards the process. I quickly made three friends with other English ex-pats, like myself. I started classes at my university immediately. So, I made another three new American friends that I enjoyed spending time with.  My children, two of whom are young adults and one who is an eleven-year old, all home schooled - which is legal in Italy.

Making friends in Italy wasn't hard. It just wasn't with Italians.
(L. Galo)

I didn't come with preconceived ideas or very high hopes. I came with a mission: to study business in Milan and make business contacts. I did accomplish that. I met people in the industries I'm interested in: marketing and finance. I even made a few friends in businesses I don't know that I that I need connections in but I enjoyed the company of those people. They were from Bulgaria, Sweden and one was from Italy... only one Italian friend. This Italian friend was different from the others - mainly because he had previously lived in the US and could respect American boundaries. That means we could have a friendship based on mutual respect, despite cultural differences. He was still pushy mind you, but he knew that he should back off on his pushiness with me, out of respect for my culture.

Let me expand on the concept of having an Italian friend - from the American perspective. From the American viewpoint, Italians are nosey, pushy and invasive in both their mannerisms and their questions. This is cultural - not personal. They all do it... I have not seen or met one Italian who was the exception. Complete strangers will put their hands all over you. No one is trying to attack you personally but they act this way, because (as it has been explained to me by them) they want to get to know you better and this is how they go about getting to know you better. Ahem...

People pushing to get on trains is normal here.

(Photo credit link)

...Personally, I hate this. I don't mind being friendly and I am... but to a point. I don't need to explain to you why, after the age of 25, I am back in school as an older student. I don't need to explain to you why, after raising two children to adulthood, I trust them with my youngest child while I am in class and no, I don't feel guilty that I am going to school while my 11 year old is at home. No, it's not unfair that her older siblings care for her while I study. I don't need to justify why I home school... for them to get a better education that they otherwise would not have... duh?!

I don't have to explain myself in America when it comes to these things and I damn-well am not going to do it in Italy either. So, when Italians start crossing the line that way with me, I just say I have an appointment and I have to go. That's the end of that. That Italians find what we do in the US strange is normal. We are culturally different. So, of course, we will find strange some of the things they do (like constantly touching you and pushing you - yes, actual pushing without apology or questioning you on what you consider normal lifestyle choices). So, of course, I find it normal that they would think some of our ways strange, too (as they think it's very odd if an American is to eat and walk at the same time). BUT! That they question me on it and ask me to defend my position is not normal. That's just rude. I've travelled in enough countries to know that most people know when to keep their trap shut, even if they don't totally agree with your ways. I certainly am not stopping to question them on why the heck they are physically pushing everyone around.

Italians, by and large, are not smilers. They find it strange that Americans smile so much. (Photo credit)

I've lived many places in the world, some abroad but most throughout the US. I can say, while Italy is beautiful and I absolutely love the art and quality of food (some of the other reasons I was attracted to being here), I never fell in love with her people. When I lived in the Philippines, I can honestly say I fell in love with the people of the countryside of the Philippines... Their cultural values really wrap you up in an armful of sincere care. But I don't get that interfering, nosey vibe in Italy. Sad, but true, I am looking forward to leaving.

I've seen the professors at my study abroad program question the American students on why they haven't made Italian friends. We are too polite culturally to say to the professors' faces that their people are just too rude to consider being good friends with - even if we are polite enough to be friendly to them. So, the American students spend time with other Americans or ex-pats from similar cultures to ours - like Great Britain. We spend at least half of our weekends and free time in other countries. I've seen enough of Italy. I'll be spending my spring break in Croatia. Everyone I asked is leaving, too.. some to Barcelona, some to Germany or even Morocco. But no one I know is interested in lying on the beaches of Italy.

Would I recommend study abroad for another non-traditional student? Absolutely! Would I recommend they study in Italy? That, my friend, is a big no. Do visit Italy. There is so much to offer historically, artistically, from a cuisine viewpoint. As a tourist, you will find many English speakers and be isolated from the truth that is discovered in residency here... But live here as an American ex-pat? Uh, not so much.

- Li Galo (mom to three fabulous and fantastic homeschoolers)

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Museo Scienza

I recently visited Museo Scienza in Milan Italy. It was a very interesting experience, and I learned a bunch of things on a bunch of different subjects. There was a space section, a food section, and a vehicle section, and a few others.

The space section had interactive games where you could dress an astronaut, do puzzles, etc. There were real spacesuits, and a recording of president Nixon talking to Neil Armstrong when Armstrong was on the moon, with video. I had a lot of fun there, and using an interactive game, built space shuttles that were futuristic, and worked.

The food section had information on nutrition, and what is best to eat. It had another interactive machine where you could take a picture of yourself, and put your thoughts on food in the future. When I was walking through this section, I saw real labs to the sides. This section had stuff about fruit, grains, dairy, protein, all sorts of things.

The vehicle section was different, as there were some old cars you could look at. They were quite nice, but what really sparked my interest was that when you walked outside there was a submarine. It was an Italian submarine that had survived WWII. I kept walking and went inside a building with planes, helicopters, and the hull of a ship. There was a place where you could get inside a helicopter cockpit, and see where your helicopter was going. That was cool. When I went inside the hull of the cruise ship, I was a little shaky because it felt like you were on the boat. There was a full ship with masts deeper down in the floor, but it wasn't open to the public.

This museum was pretty fun, and very educational. I would recommend.
-S.Galo


** European Union laws require me to give European Union visitors information about cookies used on your blog. In many cases, these laws also require me to obtain consent. Continued reading of this blog means you give your consent. Google's use of certain Blogger and Google cookies, including use of Google Analytics and AdSense cookies are mandatory by Italian law. **

Sforza Castle

Sforza Castle

Sforza Castle, also called Castello Sforzesco, was built in the 15th century by Francesco Sforza. It was renovated and enlarged in the 16th and 17th centuries and was one of the largest citadels in Europe. Later rebuilt by Luca Beltrami in 1891-1905, it now holds many of Milan's museum and art collections

Here we are looking at the weapons of the 1800's.
(Li Galo)

Originally, the castle was the residence of the Visconti lords in the city. However, until it was destroyed by the  Golden Ambrosian Republic. In 1450,  Francesco began building the castle to turn it into his private residence. When he died, his son, Galeazzo Maria continued the build of the castle. In 1497, Ludovico Stforza became lord of Milan.

Several artists were called in to decorate the castle. Some of them were Leonardo Da Vinci, who painted several rooms, along with Bernardino Zenale and Bramante. Later however, the castle was damaged by Italian, German and French troops over the years. It was restored and enlarged not long after. After the unification of Italy, the castle was moved from being of military use to the city. But during World War II heavily damaged the castle. The restoration for use as a museum was utilized by  BBPR partnership.

Pieta by Michelangelo
(Li Galo)

Emilio with Michelangelo's Pieta
(Li Galo)

Blog by Cristiana Galo


** European Union laws require me to give European Union visitors information about cookies used on your blog. In many cases, these laws also require me to obtain consent. Google's use of certain Blogger and Google cookies, including use of Google Analytics and AdSense cookies are mandatory in the EU